When Approaching the "Other Side"
Whether you participated on your high school debate team, filed an appeal for a parking ticket or even tried to resolve an argument between friends, you needed to know about the “other side.”
With the 2016 elections well under way, wouldn’t it be a good idea to learn more about the other side of the political debate? Our next president, after all, should be at least as important as your parking ticket. Right?
So why aren’t we all informed? It can be maddening to respectfully communicate with someone who does not understand your point of view. Well, we thought we’d try and help. Found below are a few principles that will help you effectively communicate with the other side.
Assumptions
Imagine you're on a college basketball team preparing for your next game. You haven't played this team before, but the whole school has been talking:
“Their defense never shows up.”
“They can’t buy a bucket!”
“They shoot like my grandma.”
After everything you've heard, how could you lose?
Next thing you know, game day arrives and… you lose. What happened?
Well, my friend, you didn’t do your research.
If it wasn’t already evident, it’s important to leave your assumptions behind when you try to learn about the other side. No, we’re not asking you to convert to one side or the other. Just get informed about the issues.
It’s okay to admit when you don’t know something. In fact, that’s great! Admit that. But it’s embarrassing to know nothing, or to stand firm in false information.
Assumptions and biases can be one of the biggest roadblocks to communicating with the other side. Instead of taking a side, why not explore all of your options?
Beware of where you get your information. Not everything on the internet is going to be true. Opinions (even your own) can be framed as facts -- try to discern fact from opinion.
Attack Ideas, Not People
Want to learn more about a candidate? Ask someone. Understand why they support that candidate, and try to see their point of view -- even if it’s only momentarily.
Keep in mind that sometimes, people will support a candidate without a justifiable reason. Be weary of these people. Generally speaking, people don’t like to be wrong. If discovered as lacking true knowledge or opinion about their point of view, people may get defensive.
For this reason, be considerate of the way you phrase your questions to avoid unnecessary arguments. If you disagree, this may or may not be the right time to diverge into that conversation, but if you do, remember to attack ideas, not people.
For example:
Good: What did you like about the debate last night?
Bad: Do you really believe that (insert candidate’s name)’s ideas will work? Seriously?
Good: I’m not sure if I agree with that process, how would it differ from this other idea?
Bad: If you believe that, you are an imbecile. I refuse to even consider how someone could be so unintelligent.
When we attack people, the opportunity to learn is lost. When we attack ideas, new insights are gained, paving the way for growth.
Converse with an open mind
How many of us like talking to people when they don’t want to listen to us?
-- Ya. Like, no one. (That’s right. No one.)
So here’s a tip: don’t be that person!
When discussing a controversial topic, one person will often give their reasoning and then pause, waiting for a “rebuttal” from the other side. Instead of actually listening to the opposing viewpoint, however, they simply wait for the other side to stop talking so they can start again.
People, this is not intelligent conversation.
When talking to someone with an opposing idea, try to understand the reasoning behind their opinion. This can go a long way.
Don’t forget the wise words of Sam-I-Am, “You do not like them, so you say. Try them! Try them! And you may.”
You never know, the other side may not be so bad, just like those Green Eggs and Ham.
As the election continues, we’ll be in the final stages before we know it. Two candidates will take the stage for debate, exchanging opinions and facts on controversial issues. Just as each candidate understands both “sides” of the argument, we too, should be informed.
Don’t be the one caught being misinformed. Watch all of the debates, read from various news sources, talk to others.
Get informed. Vote.
More resources to get informed
